Happy Birthday Mom: Photos of Virtues

Today is the 58th birthday of my mom, Sharon McLaughlin, one of seven children, mother of 4, grandma of 7, wife of a very busy man and elected public official, skilled interpreter for the deaf, talented and tireless quilter with an excellent eye for color, follower of Jesus who accepts his love knowing her shortcomings.

As I combed through my photos, looking for some of my mom, I realized how much they personified different personality traits, so they are here to give glimpses of my mom's character for those who do and do not know her.

There is, of course, an innumerable collection of equally-awesome family photos.  I am now a father of three, and I am just beginning to feel the incredible work and commitment that parenting requires.  I may be only feeling that now, but for many years, I have appreciated both of my parents' commitments to their kids.  We were never made to feel that we came second to any aspect of their personal or professional lives.  We were first. We were loved.

My mom championed my education.  It didn't come effortlessly.  She worked with my teachers to individualize my education, which eventually led to me skipping 6th grade.  She created "positions" in the school plays and the school choir for me to get involved at school, playing the piano.  She cared greatly about this.  I am proud of my public school education, yet I must admit that, without her efforts, it may have gone quite differently. 

college graduation

I like to imagine the courtship of my parents.  My dad, with his nomadic childhood, and even more nomadic naval career, meets my mom, who had lived her whole life in the twin cities, and couldn't believe that he would go "camping" without a tent.  However, married they were, and she moved far away to Tucson to make it happen.  Shortly later, they head out to Anchorage, Alaska, where I was born.  And ever since, she and my dad have embodied a love for adventure that each of their kids has benefitted from, and certainly shared as well.

with Maggie outside Juneau, Alaska

 These two pictures are the beginning and the end of medical school.  What is obvious about them is the contrast of my temperament and hers.  It is very difficult to get me exuberant.  My mom is exuberant as a primary way of being happy.  And though I am very different, I need people like this in my life, and I'm grateful that my mom is one such person.  She gets excited. 

My mom is an excellent seamstress, and she has been quilting as long as I can remember.  Her creations are numerous.  They are beautiful and they are creative.  Below is the quilt she made for Maggie, before knowing if she was a boy or a girl, and it's easy to admire how she managed such a nice gender-neutral quilt, without just going yellow.  I don't quilt, but I think I have "more than the average male" share of decorating and design skill, and it certainly didn't come from my dad.  =)

This picture was taken years ago in Colorado.  My mom thought the fountain machine at a gas station was very interesting, with it's ability to mix-and-match flavors, and she wanted me to take a picture of it.  For me, this picture represents all the things that she wanted me to do, but I didn't want to.  Some of them, like this one, are now amusing memories.  Others were crucial and central parts of my life growing up.  I'm thankful that she is like this.

This is a picture of my mom's longsuffering in regards to the silliness of her family.  There are many such pictures, with everyone goofing off, and my mom deigning to be in the picture, despite the fact that she is obviously not feeling it in the same way.  She's a good sport. 

4 years ago yesterday, my mom and dad became grandparents.  They care deeply and well for our kids.  Thus far, and for the foreseeable future, my kids live very far away from them.  This is difficult for us as well, but it is also due to choices that we made.  My parents made no such choice, which creates a unique difficulty.  Despite the fact that this is very hard, they do not waver in their support of us.  I am thankful for this.

This picture was taken in 2010, when my parents came to visit us in Kenya.  My mom is here with Rose, the lovely lady who cared for Maggie.  Within about a week, my mom knew things about Rose that we did not.  She would sit down with her, have chai, and ask her tons of questions about her life and family.  My mom does this very well.  This lack of hesitancy in personal relationships is part of what makes her so capable of communicating with people that have disabilities.  I admire this in her.

As seen here, we have benefited from the hospitality of my parents on numerous occasions, and I grew up with example after example of hospitality from my parents.  I hope that we can emulate this.

Happy Birthday Mom.  May God bless you this year, more and more.

Tobias Timothée McLaughlin

Over four months ago, Rachel told me that the ideal date for our baby to be born would be April 1.  She didn't want another March birthday (she and Ben are in March), but she didn't want to wait any longer than necessary, and that way, true to McCropder tradition, the baby could share a birthday with Sarah.

Never mind that it was 8 days prior to her due date, and thus 15 days prior to her French due date (they use 41 weeks for some reason).

Yet, lo and behold, months later, more or less during Sarah's birthday celebration, the contractions kicked up in earnest.  Several hours later, Tobias Timothée McLaughlin was born at the Albertville hospital.  All has been well.  Rachel will provide her take on being a patient in the French system later on.

It may be remembered that Ben has two middle names:  "Kenneth Kipruto", the first being Rachel's dad's name, and the second being his Kenyan name, meaning "boy born while traveling".  Timothée (pronounced Teem-o-tay) is in fact the French spelling of my father's name, thus keeping the same pattern, but combining both elements into one.

Questions from the peanut gallery:

• Was he a chunker like the others?  8lbs 9oz, in between the others
• Does Tobias has a really cool-looking French birth certificate?  No, it is in fact the most underwhelming legal document I have ever seen.
• Is he eligible for French citizenship?  No, you must have a French parent to be eligible for citizenship.
• Could he be president of the United States?  This was actually the first question he asked me after being born.  It's funny how the answer to this doesn't seem to be straightforward, but the most reliable answer I've been given is that, since he acquires citizenship at birth (by virtue of being born to American citizens), that he could be president.

Thanks to all of you who have been praying for us.  Please continue.

Psalm 126:3 - "The Lord has done great things for us, and we are filled with joy."

"Vacationing" With Kids

The simple rule:  Vacations cost money, time, and sometimes physical energy.  They provide excitement, fun, memories, and sometimes physical rejuvenation.  We will choose to vacation as long, and as often as, it's costs are equal or greater to what one gets out of the vacation.

OK, we'll return to that.  A bit of back story.

If you know us, or even if you read this blog without really knowing us, you quickly figure out that Rachel and Eric enjoy traveling.  In fact, I (Eric) often say that traveling with Rachel is one of the best things I have found in this world.  Some couples don't travel well together.  We are not one of those couples. Within a 12-month period in 2005, when we lived in the US, I went to Turkey, Zambia, Botswana, Holland (and neighboring countries) and Costa Rica.  And then I felt like maybe I would want to stay in the US.  For at least 6 months.  So, that's who we are.  One must always figure in the various costs, but in general, if we can find the time, it's not too hard for a vacation to be "worth it" for us.

Enter children.

How exactly the presence of children will change vacation decisions will be highly individual.  But I offer to you the following principals for how this will certainly change the equation in certain directions:

On the cost side:

• When they are really young, they might not cost any more money.  Under 2 years old for planes, and in most public transport in Europe, under 4 is free.  It's a pretty mean museum ticket agent who asks for another ten bucks for a kid in a stroller.  Similarly, subways are free, though getting through those turnstiles with a stroller is quite a doozy.  However, as they get older, they quickly get to cost almost as much as another adult.  We will soon rapidly enter that phase.
• For physical energy, the cost goes up dramatically.  Our kids are pretty travel-savvy, and it hasn't been easy to make them that way.  Nevertheless, they never sleep as well somewhere else, and so the parents are always more tired.  If you're exploring a city or region, there can easily be a lot more stroller pushing and carrying, as well.  Time zones?  That ought to need no explanation.  The fact that it is still nighttime is not a reason for a little to kid to stay in bed if they are not sleepy

On the benefit side:

• This is where I've really been learning a lot.  Think about it:  If it's just adults, you wake up and eat, and spend the morning doing whatever.  You lunch whenever.  You spend the afternoon however.  You eat dinner wherever.  Afterwards, you can go walking or...whatever.
• Depending on the age of your kids, this may look quite different.  Our last trip was really a best-case scenario for little kids.  One kid takes one nap, and it's doesn't even have to happen every day.  OK, so you get up and head out for the day.  You have about 3 hours from opening time of most places until lunch.  After lunch is nap, until maybe 3:30.  It's a quiet time, if you're all in the same dark room, but it's somewhat relaxing.  Then you have about 2 hours after nap until dinnertime, which is not quite so flexible for the kiddos.  After dinner, there's not really enough time to do anything before kid's bedtime.  After bedtime, the parents can hang in the hotel bathroom planning the next day until they are ready for sleep.  So the whole day of experiencing the destination has become about 5 hours.
• Memories.  Well, the youngest of the kids won't remember it at all, and I'm not sure how much my kids will care, in the future, about how we've augmented their travel "statistics".  I get to see my kids chase pigeons in St. Mark's Square in Venice.  That's nice.  For me (since they don't care about the square, just the pigeons).  And it is.  Point one for traveling with kids, but I would be mistaken to prioritize that too highly.

OK, I'm done.  You can see where this is leading.  I truly have no wish to rant or rain on anyone's parade.  But these are the thoughts that have made us really reconsider how much traveling we will be doing in this phase of our lives.  And I'm thankful for the revelations, because they don't come easily for someone like me, whose travel plans have to be pried from his unconscious fingers oftentimes.  These thoughts free me to let these things go, realizing that this just isn't the same.  One day, it probably will be again, but not for now.

Will we totally stop all traveling for fun?  No.  Will we change the way we make such decisions?  Yes, significantly so.  And I offer it to those of you who think "Well, Eric and Rachel don't seem to have any trouble doing it."  Let it be known.

Toilet Paper Roll Art Projects

One day, Rachel told me she was saving a few toilet paper rolls, because "you never know when they'll be good for something with the kids."

So I took that idea, and drew 4 Sesame Street characters on them one day.  They were a huge hit, and Ben in particular liked to "wear" them like little gaudy cardboard wristbands, as he went around playing with other things.  So I did a few more, and Maggie enjoyed planning which character would be next.  

One day, she called out to me from the bathroom, holding an empty toilet paper roll, but instead of "Daddy, we need more toilet paper!" she excitedly said "Daddy, look!  The Count!" (our next planned character that day)  They have never seen an episode of Sesame Street, so this is good American education.

This led to the second project.  We love advent, but had neither wreath nor calendar this year.  So we asked our neighbors to save their rolls, and throughout advent, I would create characters from the Bible, and we would use them as props to tell various parts of the Christmas story.  We started with the Annunciation with just Mary, Joseph, and Gabriel.  Then we added an innkeeper and a donkey, and so on.  The kids really enjoyed it, and here was the finished ensemble: 

Over the holidays, my aunt and uncle gave Maggie and Ben a HUGE sticker book with Thomas the train characters and even stickers of rails and props for making your own tracks.  So, on returning to France (since the rolls keep coming, after all), we took to taping the stickers onto the rolls, and one afternoon made a map of Sodor on the back of an old poster.  Both kids enjoy it a lot.  One of Maggie's favorite activities is to line the engines up and flip the poster over to use as a "blanket" to put the engines down for their naps. 

We have a LOT of toilet paper rolls all over our house now...

Felt fairly creative until we visited a friend here who is making a to-scale model of the nearby chateau out of...gingerbread.  Very detailed and pretty awe-inspiring.

"Hiking the Mountain" with the Kids

On Wednesdays, there is no school in France.  I guess this is nationwide.  Maggie doesn't go to school, and as our Centre follows the public system (so as to allow us to take care of our kids), we don't have class.  So we generally split the day, with one of us taking the kids in the morning while the other studies, and vice versa in the afternoon.

This past Wednesday, the first activity of the morning was taking a "hike up the mountain".  About 5-10 minutes behind our house, there is a hill with a shrine of Mary and Jesus at the top.  It's called "Chapelle Notre Dame de Vignes," which I love.  Our Lady of the Vines.  How appropriate.  You have to walk through the adjacent nursing home parking lot to get to the top, but it is just high enough to have a great view of the city.  You can see the statue from our house, and so Maggie was excited to get up to it.  She did great and walked the whole way.  Ben walked until the steepest part at the end.  Here are some picture from the top.

This is a view looking over our house toward the opposite valley we see out our window.  In the bottom left, a little up the hill is the old medieval town of Conflans, and you can see it's chateau just below it (maybe, if you click on it to enlarge it).

I texted Rachel from the top, and she leaned out the window and waved, and Maggie could see her, which was fun.

 Coming back down, Ben graciously allowed a moment sans pacifier for a photo.

Visiting "Focus Family"

Nestled away in the suburbs of Colorado Springs, with the snows of Pike's Peak in the background is the headquarters of Focus on the Family.  They have a visitor's center.  We tried to visit it in 2006, but they were closed for the Thanksgiving holidays.  Now we have had our revenge.

The pictures in this post are likely of little interest, save for a few people, and I am related to all of them.  There are, I guess, entire rooms and sections of the visitor center that are not directly related to Adventures in Odyssey, but I can't say that for certain.  And I may go back (after all, it's a free place for the kids to have a great time playing!), but I have little intention of explored the non-Odyssey sections.  And I know my family will resonate with that.  Without further ado, our visit to (as Maggie says) "Focus Family".

Outside the building

You have to take an elevator to the Odyssey section, but if you look closely, it's not really an elevator!  It's the Imagination Station, ready to transport you (and an obligatory novice friend who doesn't quite get it) off to another time, where a virtuous person of history is striving to make the right decisions!

Inside, just push the red button (behind Maggie)!

Here is the Whit's End soda shop.  We didn't buy anything there, but it's fun nonetheless.

After that, you have to travel through the Secret Passage, once used for transport of slaves during the Underground Railroad, to get to the rest of the areas.

I don't know who Maggie is supposed to be, because the only girls I can remember are Robyn, Lucy, and Donna Barclay, and I never pictured any of them with reddish pigtails.  But, in the back, there is a window into the KYDS radio station.

Maggie played with some of the puppets and costumes available for shows at "The Little Theater".

Out in the hallway, the staff offices (I guess) are all decorated with Odyssey names, such as this one as Bart Rathbone's Electric Palace.  There was also a "Harlow Doyle, Private Eye", and a theater poster for a Shakespearean drama starring Edwin (not Dr. Regis) Blackgaard.

Our kids hung out in the toddler room a good bit, which is painted to resemble Camp What-A-Nut.

And the best non-Odyssey moment went to the room that had a wardrobe, that you could open and walk through into a magical Narnia room (you may remember that FOTF did radio theater versions of many of the Narnia stories.)  It was like living a childhood dream.

Overall a great trip.  Things I would have liked to see:

• That secret room with all the knobs for controlling Whit's End
• Timmy's cabin, stayed in and possibly built by Johnny Appleseed
• Less of the cartoon characters from the videos, who never looked quite right to me (especially Eugene and Whit)
• A timeline of the various exploits of the Barclay family
• A timeline of the various generations of Odyssey children, whom I guess had to be retired when their voices changed.
• A to-scale model of Whit's End.  They had one from the outside, but it would have been fun to see how all the rooms fit together.

Maggie wants to go back.  Given that it's free and that my parents are coming out to visit, I foresee a good chance of this happening.

Video for 60 years

My grandparents just celebrated their 60th wedding anniversary.  We are so thankful to have their example and heritage.  Their numerous grandchildren and great-grandchildren put together some video footage, which my cousin Ryan compiled into the below video.

Six Years Being Remembered

Today marks six years of being married to an amazing woman.  Obviously, I wouldn't have married someone that I didn't think I knew or admired.  I knew her well.  I admired so many things about her.  I loved her so much.  And yet, here we are, six years later, and looking back, it feels like I didn't know half of the things for which she is to be admired.  And I love her so much more.

This picture is of our first real date, getting ice cream in California in the summer of 2004.  This time was followed by watching Mulan on a VCR, and then a conversation where I showed my first real relational ineptitude.  Thankfully, she didn't think I was an idiot, but worked through it with grace.

In May 2005, we took our first international trip together, 9 days in Turkey, where we saw an amazing part of an amazing country, and slept on the bus 3 times in 5 days.  I don't remember ever having had so much fun before.  These are the travertine pools of Pamukkale.

These are the ruins of St. Stephen's church, from about the 7th century.  I'm pretty sure we weren't supposed to be standing on them, but when we hiked up there, we were alone.  And then this random Turkish guy showed up, and insisted we stand up there for a photo shot, and he took the picture.  He was afterwards disappointed that we didn't have any money for a tip.  (and we really didn't)

December 31, 2005, we were married in Knox Church in Ann Arbor, surrounded by friends and family.  A beautiful day.

We took our honeymoon in Costa Rica, traveling to a few different places, including Monteverde, where we took the zipline canopy tour through the "Cloud Forest", something I wouldn't have heard of if not for Rachel, who had been dreaming about it for some time.

In 2007, our lives were full of residency training and hospitals.  We decided to use our vacation for a perfectly relaxing Caribbean cruise.  After a terrorizing trip missing the boat in Puerto Rico, we landed in St. Maarten, and I promptly celebrated by running into the ocean with our digital camera in my pocket.  We immediately went into the town, and bought a new one.  This picture was taken by the salesman on our new camera, to demonstrate it's quality to us.

Later that same year, we embarked on our first international medical trip, spending a month at Malumghat Hospital in Bangaldesh.  This remains one of my favorite pictures of us, not leastwise because it highlights just how crazy white I am next to my beautiful olive-skinned, Turkish-appearing wife.

On the way home, we stopped for a few days in Dubai, taking this shot standing in the Persian Gulf, with the world's only self-proclaimed 7-star hotel in the background. (separated from us by a ratty reed fence)

The following summer was enjoyed at our 1896 home in Ypsilanti, where we plied our gardening skills on our community garden.

In 2008, our small group hosted a halloween party, where we were to dress up using only stuff found in our home.  Things got ugly, but these are the times that are opportunities for marriages to grow.

 2009 was a banner year.  Maggie was born.  We finished our medical training.  We lived in 4 time zones in 5 months, and then moved to Kenya.  A busy work life with kids:  good, but with its challenges as well.  There is no one that I would rather go through those times with.  For Rachel's 31st birthday, our friends Logan and Julie gave us a special dinner in their apartment.

Down at the Tenwek waterfall, with Rachel sporting her obligatory Tenwek skirt, and me in my overly bright Kericho Toyota V-neck.

One of the best parts of our work in Africa is the chance to work together.  We trained at different facilities in the US, but moving to Kenya meant that my wife has able to invade, and thus bless, my time at work as well.  I knew I had been in Kenya too long when one day I shook her hand to greet her. =(

And now back in the US for the time being, now a family of four, new things and old traditions, like this picture on Christmas Day of the top of Camelback Mountain, Scottsdale, where Rachel's family always goes for Christmas.

Rachel, I love you.  I look forward to each year so much more, knowing that I can live it with you.  Happy Anniversary.